To Spank or Not to Spank?

Happy Sunday! Before I get to our verse from Proverbs today, Let me read to you familiar words from the 23rd Psalm. “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul.

He leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” I will stop there. These are beautiful comforting words.

I want to draw your attention to the last part of verse 4 - “your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Is that threatening to the sheep? Does the shepherd use his rod and staff to beat the sheep? Of course not.

They are used to protect. The rod and staff of the shepherd are used to protect the sheep, never to harm them. Why would I ask such a question? Let me go to Proverbs 13:24 and I think you will see why I began in Psalm 23.

Proverbs 13:24, you likely know this one, “Those who spare the rod hate their children, but those who love them are diligent to discipline them.” Let me read it again. “Those who spare the rod hate their children, but those who love them are diligent to discipline them.” This verse has been used for generations to endorse the beating of children.

Some have taken this to extremes. The reason that I began in Psalm 23 is to show that the shepherd uses his tools to protect the sheep, not beat them. When these words were written, Israel was covered with sheep guided and protected by shepherds. The shepherd would use their rod (now that's a short stick or club) to block the sheep from wandering, leading them back to the desired track.

In this way, he disciplines them not to wander away, not to go down the wrong path.The Shepherd, however, does not beat up the sheep with his rod. The only time a shepherd will use his rod violently is to fight predators—defending the lives of his sheep from all enemies. Many will alter the meaning of this verse, turning shepherds into abusers. Once upon a time I remember a church - that I was not associated with - that actually had a daycare, and they gave mild electrical shock to children who misbehaved.

They actually called this punishment Jolts for Jesus. I'm not making this up. Can you imagine? As I recall, those responsible were arrested and spent time locked up for child abuse.

Let me look at the last half of Proverbs 13:24 - but those who love them are diligent to discipline them.” Those who love their children are diligent to discipline them. Have you ever heard a parent say - I just love my child so much - I cannot tell them no. What utter nonsense.

I suppose we have all seen undisciplined children. That to me is child abuse and it's the direct result of undisciplined parents. Scripture is clear. Parents are supposed to parent.

There is to be a pecking order in the house. Children are not the bosses. So what does discipline look like? Let me go back to my childhood.

Discipline meant obeying your parents. Discipline meant manners. Discipline meant going to church. Discipline meant living up to expectations.

Discipline meant that there were consequences for bad behavior. Yes, as a child I received a few whippings. However - the worst punishment of all to me was not the whipping. It was THE TALKING TO.

Do you remember the "talking to"? My father would set me down and explain to me what the situation was. At times I recall that he said that I had disappointed him. I hated that.

I NEVER wanted to disappoint my father. I loved him with all I had. I still do, although he's been gone almost 43 years. He loved me - and because of his love, he disciplined me.

He pointed me in the right direction. “Those who spare the rod hate their children, but those who love them are diligent to discipline them.”